Some of your may have seen this short (16 minute) UTube video on validation. If you haven’t it is
worth seeing and, if you have, it is worth seeing, again. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao
If you can’t watch it all, now, watch a couple of minutes. This has been the first, or second, result every time I have Googled “validation” for three years.
The first time I saw the clip I had just read a news article that cited a study that proved that passing a good mood was as frequent and as powerful as passing on a bad mood. Now we have all had the experience of someone entering the room with a really bad
mood and attitude just sucking all the joy out of the people in the room.
What great news to know that this works just as strongly with positive energy. In fact the study showed that coming into contact with a person with positive feelings transferred that emotion to you and that you would pass that emotion on to at least one other person! Do you see the implication here?
Right, that good feeling keeps on going. Each contact creates another carrier. Each carrier will create another carrier. The change you can set off with a positive contact is amazing.
Look what this guy in the film did. He shared his good feeling by validating everyone he touched during the day. I was really impressed by this. I have been trying to do it on a regular basis. I am not quite at one a day yet, but it’s always a few times a week and sometimes a few of times a day. As a rule I make many contacts a day and I am one of the happiest people I know, so
I do make incidental contacts that are positive all day, so I am passing the positive those feelings forward.
When I remember to validate, or find something to validate, the effect is far beyond the ordinary positive contact. It is truly amazing. People just light up! It is so much fun!
I watched the desk clerk in a small town in Colorado greet every single guest that came in the door for the complimentary breakfast with a hello and a great smile. He was already spreading a little joy. On my way out I stopped at the desk and said, “You are the perfect person for this job. You have not only smiled at everyone who has come in the door, but you have smiled like you really meant it. It has really been a pleasure to watch you.” Well he just turned the wattage on the smile up and he seemed about 3 inches taller when I walked away taking the good mood he was sharing with me.