You really inhibit your power to affect others, if you inhibit yourself. So don’t. Make sure you are ready to roll. Let yourself, the people you meet and the entire universe know you are in charge, even if you do not feel like you are.
I really want you to actually try this. You will be glad you did. Stand up. Spread your feet just a little wider than your shoulders. Put your hands on your hips. Hold this for two minutes. Please time it. Over is OK, but two minutes is the minimum. If you need to move a little, take one hand off your hip and point at what would be your audience. Feel it?
If you were a test subject and we swabbed your saliva before and after this exercise, your estrogen would have dropped 30% and your testosterone would have increased 30%! The posture you struck is a power posture. While you stand that way your body is telling your mind you are dominating the situation. Your mind increases the testosterone release and decreases the estrogen release. The chemical change tells you body you are dominating. Your body stands a little straighter and tells the mind, “We sure are!”
This cycle will sustain itself for a while. It will sustain itself longer, if you are in a social situation because there will be continuous feedback that you are in charge. You are. You are in charge of yourself. Power postures send a physical message of dominance to your audience, but more importantly the postures send the same message from your body to your mind. Pitiful, “I am sad“poses tell everybody you are vulnerable and defensive.
Here are some other things you can do to beef up your feeling of control. Stand with your arms raised in a “V” victory pose. Strut. Get your head up, shoulders back and arms swinging slightly. Make an entrance! Feel silly doing the poses? Step into an empty hallway, close the door to you office, or use a stall in the rest room. Get it on in your car. After you park spread out. Put an arm up on the window ledge, an arm up on the seat back, and a foot over into the passengers’ side.
Spread out at the table or in your seat. Claim some space. Grow as you speak. To avoid over doing this do it briefly. At times offer some neutral, or slightly submissive, postures, as a temporary sharing of the floor and the spotlight, or just an invitation to speak.
If you are naturally dominating in groups, dial it back a bit. People are not leaning back from you because of your breath. You are blowing them back with too much power. Try this mini meditation and calming exercise. Take four really deep breaths. Hold for a beat at the end of the inhale. Concentrate on finishing the exhale all the way. This oxygenates your blood and your brain, calms you, centers you and changes your message to a less aggressive combination.
You are not just happy. You are strong happy. You a bomb of joy waiting to explode into lives!
Now that we have some well being to share, let’s get to sharing it!