SWAGGERING INTO SUCCESS


I gave a brief talk at a business learning and networking event this week. The subject of the talk was SPREADING YOUR MAGIC. Most of that talk can be found in a series of 4 blogs I wrote with that title. Blog #3 specifically refers to setting yourself in a confident/dominant mode before important meetings, interviews, etc. Using tool like power poses, power gestures, and power walking can actually increase your testosterone in your system by 30% while reducing your estrogen by a corresponding amount. This change in chemical balance initiates a loop between your brain and body that creates a mood of confidence.
One of the tools is swaggering. A friend of mine (Who I will call K) attended my talk. A day later K found herself walking from her bank to a tea shop. Although the visit was a casual decision, she remembered the talk and swaggered from the bank to the tea shop.
When K got to the shop employees were preparing a presentation. K met the presenter at the door. They immediately fell into a conversation. K had another event to go to, but agreed to stay for at least part of the presentation. As she decided to stay the owner emerged from the kitchen area. My friend had been trying to reconnect with this owner for a couple of months. They had discussed K giving a lecture on dream work and never closed on it. The owner was delighted to see K. The owner brought up the lecture and suggested that my friend could do it in two weeks.
K’s swaggering had lent her an air of confidence when she entered the shop. The confidence engendered positive reactions from speaker and the owner. Their responses increased my friend’s confidence. K remained for the entire talk, convinced by people’s reaction to her and her increasing sense of confidence that this meeting was where she should be.
The talk began and the subjects were communication, DISC, and listening. K became even more convinced that she had made the right decision by staying. The talk provided an especially friendly and receptive environment for her specialty, dream work. When the time came for each attendee to introduce themselves, K was ready.
K has always hated doing the 30 second “What I do speeches” at these events. The result has been that her 30 seconds had little sizzle to it. Rarely, did her 30 seconds get any reaction. This time K felt herself strong and confident in talking. She did not worry about what to say. She just let it flow. K’s new confidence and relaxed manner earned her two requests for appointments.
It is just so cool when someone learns something and employs it immediately. It is even more wonderful when it produces such great results.

PSYCH-K EXPERIENCE


Two years ago my experience with PSYCH-K was not promising.  It was a short demonstration and I had come without any preparation.  However, I had a great deal of respect for the facilitator, Karen McKy, and her associate, Jim Bates.  Because of this respect I read about a dozen books on neuroscience, on changing the brain, and on the conscious/subconscious synergy in our brains.  The reading verified the science behind PSYCH-K.

The first Saturday and Sunday in June 2012I had the opportunity to attend the two day Basic training for facilitating PSYCH-K.  There is no time to explain PYSCH-K in this blog, but it works on the principal of accessing and using the individual’s own resources.  The individual forms a partnership with the facilitator to reach these resources.

I brought a receptive mind set to the experience.  Karen McKy conducted the training (see her website @ www.subconsciouschange.com ).  The group was small, but very active, friendly, and aggressively participatory.

One of the items I sought to address was the daily feeling of fatigue that I have.  It interferes in my work.  I am getting enough sleep and should not be going through this.  We performed the brain hemispheric synchronization process.  I tested the statement “My body is healed, restored, and full of energy.”

I was surprised when the signal test showed my left hemisphere was not fully supporting this statement.  I would have guessed an inner resistance, or shortage of conviction.  Instead my right hemisphere was on board. My logical, let hemisphere was not.  I realized I knew I needed walking and agility, work, but was not even scheduling it.  Scheduling is a left brain function!  I started attending Tai Chi on the next Wednesday and walked over a mile Wednesday evening.  I will work some lower body into all my weight days.

One of the most potent uses of PSYCH-K is rewriting subconscious blockages.  These blockages are most commonly in the form of negative or self-limiting beliefs.  Another subject I addressed is my failure to confront misinformation at lectures, which bothers me.  People often take action based on the misinformation. I feel it is a disservice to lecture attendees not to challenge statements I know to be incorrect.

While working on the empowering belief statement I would make to confront such misinformation in the future, we explored why I was not doing it now. The issue came down to two elements, a lack of courage and the perception I had to confront the speaker to challenge the information.  That is not true.  If I frame the challenge as a question with my knowledge being new, or evolved from the presented information, I can challenge the information, but not contradict the speaker. I can avoid seeming like a smart ass.  I haven’t had a chance to test this change, but I will.

I found the PSYCH-K Basic Workshop to be more than I expected. Everyone enjoyed it.  Everyone got immediate results.  Everyone learned things about themselves and each other. I would recommend this workshop to anyone who is dealing with mind and life changing issues. I would recommend it to anyone who is seeking additional methods to help others with mind and life changing issues.  Contact Karen www.SubconsciousChange.com

BEHAVIORAL STYLE AND THE SPREADING OF MAGIC – Day 4


Some of you are thinking, “That’s nice and all, but that is just not me!” Well, it’s not me, either!
All of us have different DISC behavior styles. All of us have the potential to be the high point, the worst point, or no point of another’s day. There are ways for every style to share their magic. I will give examples of how the different styles can share their happiness.
Those of you who are quick decision makers, are only interested in the bullet points, and don’t listen, WARM UP! You have the most likelihood of the 4 major styles, driver, influencer, steady, or compliant/analytical of ruining someone’s day. Because of that you can easily be the high point.
By nature you are abrupt. Here is a classic trait of your style that, if changed radically changes your impact and how you are perceived. When you have finished talking do not simply walk away. I know you value your time and you value mine and don’t want to waste any of it. What I would like to feel is that you valued me.
Take the time to tie a bow on our conversation. Take the opportunity for simple compliments and validations. “I saw you move that cart out of the traffic into the rack, thanks.” “I am not sure anyone else could have put this report together so quickly, good job.” You don’t like to listen. Make the effort. Suddenly, you may discover that it is not so much that “Nobody tells me anything”, but that you haven’t been listening.
Those of you of the influencer persuasion bring your enthusiasm, empathy, and creativity to every conversation. You also have a tendency to bring superstar you to the center of the stage. You want to make someone feel great? Put them there for a couple of minutes.
“Jeff, I that’s how I feel about it. I want to know how you see it.” “You must have a lot of experience with public speaking. I just loved your presentation.” Both of these have one thing in common. Coming from a behavioral style that does not normally listen, you have shown them that you feel they are important. Be sure you do listen. That’s not easy, but you can do it. Focus on the, now.
The first two styles I mentioned have trouble listening. The rest of you guys have trouble talking. Your advantage is that by nature you are listeners. That gives you the information to give high impact compliments and validation, one that touches the things that are important to the speaker.
Of course you listen in two different ways. Those of you, who are calm, laid back, follow processes and are much more comfortable with friends and family will pick up on who I talk about. You will know what people and relationships are important to me, maybe even better than I know that. You will know that telling me, “You did a great job with that customer’s complaint” means a lot more than “You really understand the complaint process.”
You’ve heard me talk for a few minutes and realize that I almost never mention people. You know that things, projects, and objectives are important to me. I will love hearing, “That process you developed really moves things along.”
So, what does all this get you?
I will absolutely guarantee you that lifting yourself up and sharing it will make you happier at the end of the day.

SPREAD YOUR MAGIC – DAY 3 SHARE, SHARE ACTIVELY, AND VALIDATE


TO SHARE YOUR HAPPINESS, TAKES JUST A TOUCH OF YOUR MAGIC

One of the really wonderful things about this is that you cannot help, but share your magic.  Humans are wired to pick up signals (some are physical tells, others are actually electromagnetic) from other humans.   If you feel good, you give good signals.  If you are blah, the signals are blah.  If you are feeling down, the signals are sad.   You cannot escape this level of sharing.  People within 10 feet of you react to how you feel.  You also react to how they feel.  At this level your effect is real but unfocused.

Still under the banner of involuntary sharing you directly impact people you meet face to face.  Without a word being spoken you share your feelings.  I hope they are white magic feelings. You share your feelings with each person you meet.  We are all wired to both send and receive a myriad number of emotions.  This helps us sort out the dangerous people from the potential allies. 

The first direct and most powerful sharing of our magic is still silent.  It’s almost silent, anyhow.  It is listening.  High, high on the list of human needs is the need to be heard.  Not to be heard as just another noise, but to be the object of a focused listener.  

The primary power of listening is the power of focus.  Lack of focus is the enemy of communication.  Lack of focus blurs communication.  The lack of focus breaks up communication.  Worst of all, lack of focus misdirects communication.  We need focus in speaking as well as in listening.  Without focus how will you know if I am listening to you? 

Without focus how will you know when I say something important to you?  The focus of a listener is a great gift.  It is a gift that you should give well and often.   As often as you give it you will make others happy. 

As often as you give it, you will make yourself happier.  There is a bounce back from your focus on me.  I radiate my happiness at being valued and honored back at you.  That increases your happiness which you bounce back to me.

Listening often requires a pro active starter.  The starter can be a hello by name, or a smile to a stranger.  A good morning to a stranger on a city street is like a rainbow.  Say how are you this morning and wait for and listen to the answer.  That is so strong.  It’s hard to do, but about half the population is as shy as you are.  In this case the one who speaks first wins.  The person wins a sense of recognition and value.  You win that persons memory of how you made them feel.

The top power, the lightning bolt of your magic is validation. A light touch of a compliment, an observation of a deed well done, a simple good morning can all inflict happiness on the recipient.  We all hunger for some recognition of our goodness.  It is a grain of sand to you.  It is a golden nugget to the recipient.