I LOOK HAPPY!


I have a friend, Jim Bates, who is an experienced PSYCH-K® facilitator. I am a beginner facilitator and Jim sometimes lets me work with him. Some of his clients have agreed to let him share their stories with me and you.  The stories show the terrific impact this process can have in individuals in a very short time.
Jim first met “J “through Laurie. Jim and Laurie had spoken several times. Laurie knew that Jim worked with people to help them get over problems and blockages in their lives. One day, she stopped her car next to him as he walked his dogs. She asked if he could do anything to help alcoholics. He told Laurie could, if they wanted help.  The alcoholic never contacted Jim.

A day or so later Jim answered a knock at the door. A young man stood there with both arms held out in front of him at a 45 degree angle. “J” introduced himself as a friend of Laurie’s and said he was desperate for help. Jim invited him in. As “J” shuffled in the room Jim noticed that he bounced off one side of the door frame. He also noticed that his shirt was worn on both arms and shoulders.

Jim explained what a facilitation process was, and what his rates where. “J” said he wished to work with Jim. Jim asked him what one thing in his life he wished to change the most. “J” said, “I want to stop being so angry at my father.”
Jim explained to him that the way the PSYCH-K process works is on one precise problem at a time. The removal of one problem is often like taking a single can out of a pyramid of cans. All the cans fall. “J” understood that and said he wanted to continue. Jim facilitated the Basic balance with “J”.  “J” said that he “felt a shift.” He paused a moment and said, “I don’t feel angry anymore.”

Jim asked him to walk back and forth across the living room. “J” walked with his hands swinging naturally at his sides! Jim then instructed “J” to go down the hall and look at himself in the mirror. “J” did.  Jim saw that “J” was not bumping against the walls when he walked. Jim asked “J” what he saw.

“J” said, “I LOOK HAPPY.”

Click on Jim  to learn more at www. subconsciouschange.com.  You can reach him at 303-809-9197.

Jim is located in the Denver, CO area. He has also gotten great results for clients over the phone.

BEHAVIORAL STYLE AND THE SPREADING OF MAGIC – Day 4


Some of you are thinking, “That’s nice and all, but that is just not me!” Well, it’s not me, either!
All of us have different DISC behavior styles. All of us have the potential to be the high point, the worst point, or no point of another’s day. There are ways for every style to share their magic. I will give examples of how the different styles can share their happiness.
Those of you who are quick decision makers, are only interested in the bullet points, and don’t listen, WARM UP! You have the most likelihood of the 4 major styles, driver, influencer, steady, or compliant/analytical of ruining someone’s day. Because of that you can easily be the high point.
By nature you are abrupt. Here is a classic trait of your style that, if changed radically changes your impact and how you are perceived. When you have finished talking do not simply walk away. I know you value your time and you value mine and don’t want to waste any of it. What I would like to feel is that you valued me.
Take the time to tie a bow on our conversation. Take the opportunity for simple compliments and validations. “I saw you move that cart out of the traffic into the rack, thanks.” “I am not sure anyone else could have put this report together so quickly, good job.” You don’t like to listen. Make the effort. Suddenly, you may discover that it is not so much that “Nobody tells me anything”, but that you haven’t been listening.
Those of you of the influencer persuasion bring your enthusiasm, empathy, and creativity to every conversation. You also have a tendency to bring superstar you to the center of the stage. You want to make someone feel great? Put them there for a couple of minutes.
“Jeff, I that’s how I feel about it. I want to know how you see it.” “You must have a lot of experience with public speaking. I just loved your presentation.” Both of these have one thing in common. Coming from a behavioral style that does not normally listen, you have shown them that you feel they are important. Be sure you do listen. That’s not easy, but you can do it. Focus on the, now.
The first two styles I mentioned have trouble listening. The rest of you guys have trouble talking. Your advantage is that by nature you are listeners. That gives you the information to give high impact compliments and validation, one that touches the things that are important to the speaker.
Of course you listen in two different ways. Those of you, who are calm, laid back, follow processes and are much more comfortable with friends and family will pick up on who I talk about. You will know what people and relationships are important to me, maybe even better than I know that. You will know that telling me, “You did a great job with that customer’s complaint” means a lot more than “You really understand the complaint process.”
You’ve heard me talk for a few minutes and realize that I almost never mention people. You know that things, projects, and objectives are important to me. I will love hearing, “That process you developed really moves things along.”
So, what does all this get you?
I will absolutely guarantee you that lifting yourself up and sharing it will make you happier at the end of the day.

SPREAD YOUR MAGIC – DAY 2 RAMP IT UP OR TONE IT DOWN (A LITTLE)


You really inhibit your power to affect others, if you inhibit yourself.  So don’t.  Make sure you are ready to roll.  Let yourself, the people you meet and the entire universe know you are in charge, even if you do not feel like you are.

I really want you to actually try this.  You will be glad you did.  Stand up.  Spread your feet just a little wider than your shoulders.  Put your hands on your hips.  Hold this for two minutes.  Please time it.  Over is OK, but two minutes is the minimum.  If you need to move a little, take one hand off your hip and point at what would be your audience.  Feel it?

If you were a test subject and we swabbed your saliva before and after this exercise, your estrogen would have dropped 30% and your testosterone would have increased 30%!  The posture you struck is a power posture.  While you stand that way your body is telling your mind you are dominating the situation.  Your mind increases the testosterone release and decreases the estrogen release.   The chemical change tells you body you are dominating. Your body stands a little straighter and tells the mind, “We sure are!”

This cycle will sustain itself for a while. It will sustain itself longer, if you are in a social situation because there will be continuous feedback that you are in charge.   You are. You are in charge of yourself.  Power postures send a physical message of dominance to your audience, but more importantly the postures send the same message from your body to your mind.  Pitiful, “I am sad“poses tell everybody you are vulnerable and defensive.

Here are some other things you can do to beef up your feeling of control.  Stand with your arms raised in a “V” victory pose.  Strut.  Get your head up, shoulders back and arms swinging slightly. Make an entrance!   Feel silly doing the poses?  Step into an empty hallway, close the door to you office, or use a stall in the rest room.  Get it on in your car.  After you park spread out.  Put an arm up on the window ledge, an arm up on the seat back, and a foot over into the passengers’ side.

Spread out at the table or in your seat.  Claim some space.  Grow as you speak.  To avoid over doing this do it briefly.  At times offer some neutral, or slightly submissive, postures, as a temporary sharing of the floor and the spotlight, or just an invitation to speak.

If you are naturally dominating in groups, dial it back a bit.  People are not leaning back from you because of your breath.  You are blowing them back with too much power.  Try this mini meditation and calming exercise.  Take four really deep breaths.  Hold for a beat at the end of the inhale.  Concentrate on finishing the exhale all the way.  This oxygenates your blood and your brain, calms you, centers you and changes your message to a less aggressive combination.

You are not just happy.  You are strong happy.  You a bomb of joy waiting to explode into lives!

Now that we have some well being to share, let’s get to sharing it!

SPREAD YOUR MAGIC – DAY 1 YOUR MAGIC AND HOW TO FIND IT


We have an ability to affect everyone we meet with our mood.
Remember the times you had a perfectly wonderful morning mood destroyed by an encounter with one grouchy person? No? Your mood was probably not destroyed, but I’ll bet it was toned way down. How about the times you had a just sort of good mood? Those were the times an encounter with an unhappy person could knock you into neutral, or even into a little bit grumpy.
Then there were the days you started in neutral, or maybe even a little below neutral. Nothing much happened between leaving the house and getting to work. By the time you reached your desk you were smiling a little and ready for the day. Could it have been that stranger that smiled and wished you a good morning? Maybe it was the driver that waved you into their lane? Maybe it was the “Hi, Nik!” from somebody you didn’t think knew your name? Any one of those little things might have been enough to nudge you over the line. If you got all three, you were probably way above the line by the time you hit your desk.
Neuroscience research has proven that we have a 50% chance to affect every person we meet with our mood. In turn that person has a 10 % chance of passing on our mood. We can’t keep this effect from taking place. We can choose the mood we transmit. It’s easy to have a good mood when your day starts of well. Just feeling well rested is a good start. Good moods are still accessible on bad days.
You can influence yourself, before you influence others. If you are not at your tippy- top, happy best, you can start a cycle of the body is happy, the brain is happy; the body is happier, etc. going. Then you can take that start and ramp it up. How can you do that?
Just smile with your facial muscles. It helps, if you look into a mirror. Seeing the smile, as well as feeling it, doubles the effect. Hum, or sing your favorite happy song (I love ‘em too, but this is not the time for the blues.) These simple actions tell the brain that has been sending the body sad, or neutral, signals that the body is sending happy signals. So, the brain responds by shutting off the unhappy. It may even send a happy signal back to the body. At least, it will be receptive to continuing cheerful signals from the body and join in. While this is going on think of the best thing that happened to you yesterday. Think of a good thing that is going to happen today, or decide to make something good happen today.
Tomorrow: RAMP IT UP

TOGETHER, WE MAKE WORK JOYFUL


My first version of my vision did not have the word “together” in it. I later realized that that was not only egotistical, but foolish. No one can make someone else’s work joyful, or even horrible, for them.  It takes a team.
The team may be myself and one person to bring them joy in their job or their micro-business, or it can be myself, a team and several hundred people in a larger business. I think that is the most important thing I can be doing with my energy and skills at this time. I want to make the world a better place for everyone. This is how we can do it.
If you have a great day at work, you head home cheerful and fulfilled. You greet your spouse warmly, play with the dog, and spend some quality time with the children. You may even go out that evening and be particularly pleasant to your waiter, make the lady at the grocery checkout smile and compliment you neighbor on their beautiful blooming roses. Everyone you have touched will pass the feeling you gave them on to at least one other person.
When you have a bad day, if you are accustomed to good days you may shrug it of, but you won’t be your special joyful self. If it is just another bad day in a bouquet of bad days, you are going to head home with your head and your spirits down. At best, your spouse gets a neutral greeting, at worst; you snarl and set the tone for a bad evening. The dog looks at you, lowers its ears, and heads into another room. The children are just too noisy and you yell for quiet. If the neighborhood is lucky, you stay home tonight. If not you go out and share your misery and those that you share it with share their reaction to you with at least one other person.
This is not a positive thinking process, nor am I going to tell you that thinking positively will change anything. It can change how you react to things. I create the joyful work situation by changes, sometimes radical, sometimes, fine tuning, in the three main areas that affect your work. Your personal input as an owner, manager, partner, or employee is the first. The second is the culture of the workplace. The third is the playing field. For work to be joyful all three of these must be in alignment and moving together toward specific goals.
Next blog I will write a little about that positive effect we can have on people.